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I was thinking of this subject recently - the importance of listening. The people in my life who really seem to "get" who and what I am are the ones who have been willing to listen to me. Good listeners are those rare individuals who can set aside their own agendas and allow you to be heard without judgment. When I think of what this has meant to me, it makes me want to be this for other people. Thanks for reminding me of my intention to be a free and friendly place for others to visit.


The only thing worse than not having such a friend, is thinking that you do and having the confidence broken.

Thank you for this.

ben overby

I have to remind myself, and (as a teacher) remind others that the deep, dark caverns in our souls, where we tuck away the pain inflicted on us, or the shame of our own sin, is not hidden from the a Father who understands, forgives, and mends. When we don't feel safe enough to tell someone else, we have One who is closer to us than we are to ourselves. All He wants us to do is remember the mercy, the grace, and open our mouth wide--He'll fill it up (ps. 81.10)with everything we need to heal the scars of our past. But we have to trust Him, at least a wee bit at first, so that He can draw us into the warmth of His breast.


As a counselor, I deal with this sad truth every day. Some clients need clinical help; some need but a trustworthy friend.

The great irony is that the areas of our lives that we keep hidden and secret are the very areas where we most need to be loved by others.

Jim Martin

What you said is so true. Betrayal is very, very difficult. So glad you stopped by.

Jim Martin

What a great sentence! (refering to the second one) In fact, I read it several times. A lot could be unpacked from that sentence...

Jim Martin

Thanks for such a good reminder of God's tender mercy. So true. I like the way you expressed it.

Jim Martin

Especially like your last line. "...a free and friendly place for others to visit." Even the words are inviting.

pastor's wife

Thanks for this blog. My husband and I fit into this group - we have a secret that we do not have permission to share with our church - our unmarried daughter is pregnant and feels desperately that she has let us down and that it will cause us problems with the church. (Not surprisingly, since one member protested a while back that we should not let an unmarried mother come on our Alpha course, because scripture says we must not eat with those who are in sin, as this girl obviously was!) Ironically this girl is now on staff as an outreach worker at a nearby church!
So we're struggling to cope - recently our daughter sent a text to me -"Will I still get a stocking at Christmas?" But where once upon a time I would have said 'there but for the grace of God go I', now I'm saying 'there IN the grace of God go I'. Now I can identify much better with so many mums.

This is the first time I've ever commented on a blog. The creek bed is pretty dry, but I'm amazed how encouraged I've been just through reading this and more recent posts. Thanks!

Jim Martin

pastor's wife-- I read your comment several times. Oh my...I read what your daughter asked, "Will I still get a stocking for Christmas?" and teared up.

I hurt for you and your husband. I hurt for your daughter. As the father of two daughters, I tried to imagine what this would be like.

I prayed for you, your husband and your daughter this morning.

Thanks for your comment. I hope you will comment again.


Living with a secret...(from several posts ago)...I have done too much of that. The real loss is not feeling the joy of being known and loved for who you are. As David Wilcox states in his song Hard Part: "You've got a whole heart. Give me the hard part. I can love that, too."

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