Tip of the Week

Develop the gracious habit of being on time.

OK--before you move on to another blog, let me ask you to think about this one.

Are you a person who is regularly late?  Do people joke about your lateness?  As you may know, people sometimes joke about certain issues because it gives them permission to say what they are really thinking. 

Meanwhile:

• You are late for the meeting. 
• You are late for the lunch appointment. 
• You are late for the birthday party.
• You are late for the family dinner.

And--people wait. 

I am not talking about a person who is occasionally late because of unforeseen and uncontrollable  situations.   There are times when you are suddenly in a situation which must have priority over your next commitment. 

• Two cars are involved in a wreck right in front of you.  Someone is injured.  You need to get involved.   
• You are leaving the office and notice a co-worker is in tears. 
• Your high school age child drops by your place of work (which is highly unusual for this child) just as you are about to meet someone.  You sense something is wrong.   

All of these are a part of life.  Perhaps you are late because you misjudged how long it takes to get to your destination.  Again, at times, you are probably going to be late.  But I am not really talking about this kind of lateness.

I am talking chronic lateness that has become habitual.  In fact, people are almost surprised if you are on time.  This may or may not be you.  However, I suspect you know someone like this.

Before you dismiss this as something not even worth thinking about, let me suggest that developing the habit of being on time is a gracious practice.  This habit communicates thoughtfulness.  This habit communicates that you value another's time.  This habit communicates that you do not take another person for granted.  You  choose instead to be considerate.  Perhaps this is a habit a gracious person might want to develop.

What might help:

• Think about time as a commitment you are making to another person.  If you say, "Meet me at 3:00 PM", think of that as a commitment to a person.
• Allow more travel time and more time to move from one commitment to the next.   (For instance, "Let's meet for lunch at noon" does not mean that I need to leave my office at noon for an appointment that is ten minutes away) 
• Thank God for another's time, recognizing it as a gift which needs to be appreciated and valued.
• Refuse rationalizations.  Be careful about saying, "That's just the way I am." 
• Pray that you might display graciousness in the way you use another person's time.

As a steward or manager of what God has given me, I want to use my time well.  But--I also want to respect and value another's time.  Afterall, that person's time is a gift.

Comments

[carrie]

Jim,

This reminds me of my first date. The guy came a few minutes early and was visiting with my family while I finished getting ready. In a few minutes there was a knock at my door, I opened it to find my dad standing there. He calmly asked, "What time was your date?" I told him, he looked at his watch and said, "It's five after - you're ready now" He said, "You don't owe this guy anything except what he owes you and that is respect". Needless to say, that has always stuck with me and I hate to be late to this day!
Carrie

[Greg England]

You've done it, Jim. You've gone to meddlin!
For years, our youth minister refused to be on time for anything. Never apologized. It was a control issue with him and his way of saying to the rest of us, "You're meaninless to me." I talked with him several times, to no avail. But it is very rude and discourteous to be late. Thanks for bringing it to our attention.
I may reprint this in our bulletin as about 30% of our people never show up for Sunday assembly until we're almost 30 minutes into it.
On a lighter note, my mother was habitually late and we teased her about it for years. When we had her funeral last year, we intentionally had her casket rolled into the funeral service 15 minutes after the funeral started. It was the one time her being late seemed appropriate.

[kent]

I probably wander too far in the other direction. I cannot tolerate being late. I have greater grace for others, but I cannot be late. My father-in-law used to say if you are early you are on time, if you on time you are late, and if you are late, don't bother.

[Arlene Kasselman]

Jim, I was always told that being late was "passive aggressive." That has always made me think about how I pace myself.

[Jim Martin]

Carrie,
A great story about your Dad and one which obviously made a good impression on you.

I suspect your girls will hear that one. :)

[Jim Martin]

Greg,
What a great story about your mom!

Thanks for what you related re your youth minister, etc. I have seen others experience much inconvienience and frustration while becomes of anothers regular lateness. Somehow, I need to keep the way I am relating to people before the Lord to see if this reflects his love, consideration, etc.

[Jim Martin]

Kent,
Thanks! It is good to hear from someone on the other end of this.

[Jim Martin]

Arlene,
That is interesting. Would be interesting to know how much of that (the persistent, regular lateness) is actually a passive aggresive way of acting out.

[Ted Gossard]

Interesting post. I know one highly competent person who is known for being late. And this person seems (and is) a very thoughtful and sensitive, not to mention engaging and intelligent Christian. Competent in their work as well. But that one drawback.

We are generally good at getting somewhere on time. But I have to battle procrastination, which for me, I think, deep down in my gut, is the fear of failure or not meeting up to God's expectations, and especially other's expectations, and maybe even more especially my won. Fearing failure.

So that is what I have to battle so as not to be late on anything and everything....

Thanks.

[Scot McKnight]

Jim,
I've got the other problem: I'm never late. In fact, I get to everything too early. Fix me pastor!

[Jim Martin]

Scot,
You are a sad case! I have not fix for this. Come to think of it, I have no fix for anything.

:)

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